How do you deal with someone who laughs at your spirituality? + What can I do to protect myself around negative people?
So my question is: How do you deal with a friend or family member who laughs at your spirituality?
Hello my love!
Thank you for writing! I am so sorry that you are experiencing this issue.
While I haven’t had a friend say anything mocking of my spirituality to my face, some immediate family members have. It is definitely painful and brings out anger/sadness/and maybe even some holier-than-thou thoughts.
When it boils down to it: they are uncomfortable. It can come from a number of places, maybe they don’t like that you have “changed.” When someone makes some big shifts, it can cause the people around them to feel attacked. Maybe they subconsciously feel like they aren’t doing enough and that you are judging them or they think they are forced to change as well. There can also be a sense of betrayal – they may feel like “you left me behind.”
Before I began doing spiritual work, I was super cynical about faith and I know that if past-me met current-me, I would 100% laugh at her. But it is only because feelings/softness/love made me wildly uncomfortable. In the end it doesn’t matter because it has nothing to do with you. You can speak your truth and say: “I often feel like a joke to you and it upsets me. I would love it if you could support where I’m at.” Or you could ask them: “why does my spirituality make you uncomfortable?” Their response will give you a good gauge as to how you will need to move forward with them and whether you want to decrease the amount of time you spend with them.
Either way, continue to envision them as their perfect and divine self and hold space for them to embody that. I have been pretty shocked recently because quite a few people I have known/dated/etc. have reached out to me (not even knowing the work I do!) to talk about this stuff. And I realized that because my vibration is so much higher and I am doing this work, it is holding space for everyone I have ever connected with. We are all connected and when our paths part, it does not mean the connection is gone. So honor your truth + send them unconditional love – always!
What can I do to protect myself and detach around negative people?
Thank you for connecting with me! Okay so there are a few answers to this question. While it is pretty straight forward, we want to ask ourselves a few questions before we detach + protect ourselves.
First question: am I uncomfortable with other people’s feelings?
Sometimes we like to put people feeling in the same category as being negative. They are not the same thing. When we are going through a rough patch, we need people to witness us, it actually gives us the permission to move through it as opposed to staying stuck. There is a difference between someone just being a plain ol’ negative person, and someone who is going through a lot of things and is not sure how to shift. For those of us who do not have a spiritual toolbox, it can take a loooooong time to move through it. Part of doing deep work is being able to sit with another’s pain without casting them aside or trying to fix it for them. Does the situation you are referring to call for that? Take into account how long and how well you have known this person to decide.
Second: is this my stuff too?
It is easy to view people who we react to as negative, so we want to make sure we know it is THEM and not us being triggered by them. So ask yourself: what is it about this person that is draining me so much? Obviously, if they just won't stop complaining, it may not be saying anything about you (yes, that’s possible, unless you never feel like you are allowed to complain about anything). Knowing we are all mirrors for one another means we know “I am that too,” meaning – there are definitely days when all we want to do is complain. We may not do that, but the inclination is still there. So it does not always need some deep analysis, sometimes it just means we send them love.
If it is obvious that it is not your shit being shown to you…
Is the universe pushing you forward? Sometimes when we are getting too comfortable, are not being challenged, or we need to incorporate other things/people into our lives, the universe will use these negative nancies as a way to get us to change up our routine and go after what we want. It’s basically a mystical kick in the butt done with major love. If this resonates, explore what your heart is calling you to do and act on it!
Lastly – it has nothing to do with you AND you are stuck with them (aka: they sit in the cubicle next to you or may share the same blood…)
There are some protective measures you can take if this is the situation you are in. If you find yourself feeling drained by them, make your way to a silent space for a couple of minutes (it can even be a bathroom stall if that’s the only spot) and concentrate on your breath. Begin visualizing your exhale as a fog lifting from your body, and as you inhale, see a golden light entering you. Continue to exhale negative vibes and inhale the love ones. Do this until you feel centered.
You can also do a protective visualization spell (because, magic). This is best done BEFORE you are going to be around them. Sit in silence, focus on the breath. Imagine a beam of white light coming down from the sky and meeting the top of your head. It slowly wraps you in white light. State a couple of intentions:
I allow negative energy to leave my space and be repelled if trying to enter
I allow positive energy to enter and leave my space
When you feel those intentions have stuck, cut to cord of light from the sky but keep yourself wrapped in light. Open your eyes when you are ready to take it all on!
I hope this helps!